News Headlines, “Sunshine Boy” Ennis Esmer, and Moonlight
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. That Lethal Weapon TV series seems like about as good an idea as whatever the fuck Tie Domi is doing with his eyebrows these days.
2. The Tenors Successfully Perform National Anthem Incident Free at Grey Cup!!!!
In related news: Garbage Collectors Successfully Pick Up Garbage Incident Free on Garbage Day!
3. So, this happened for reasons I can’t discuss.
Kate has taken to saying, “Hey, Tuft Guy.” Which would be way more clever if she wasn’t so damn proud of it.
4. Sometimes it’s important to have someone you trust on set to let you know when what you’re doing is working or not. Ideally it’s the director, but often he or she has to settle for whatever you give them and move on because they need to get the whole day in a certain amount of time, so they’re gonna tell you you were great. And other actors, generally, are gonna bullshit you because they either don’t care or don’t want to insult you or actually prefer you not being great. So I usually find someone on the crew who I’ve worked with before—someone I trust—and I’ll ask them to watch the monitors on the first take and tell me honestly if they like what I’m doing. I can usually tell if I’m doing okay on my own, to be honest, because I’ve been doing it for a long time. But it doesn’t hurt to have that outside eye and voice of confirmation that you trust so you can really dig in and stop thinking about it altogether. If there is any uncertainty in what you are doing, you will be caught out on film. That fucking camera catches everything. It never blinks.
5. From my greatest hits album:
We had a different name for Black Friday when I was growing up in Scarborough. We called it Friday.
6. I was once painting in a house where two Italian guys were laying ceramic tile, and they didn’t say a single word for the entire day. I hadn’t known that quiet Italians even existed before that. I was at a complete loss for hand gestures.
7. Just because I can. And because we’ve never run a Sunshine Boy feature yet.
8. Once, when Ella was about five years old, I was walking her home from kindergarten and I made her walk on the inside of the sidewalk so I would be closer to the road. I told her that’s because if a car came up off the road, it would hit me first and kill me and not her. She thought about this for a few seconds and said, “Daddy if a car does run you over and kill you, I know how to walk the rest of the way home all by myself.”
I’ve pretty much felt superfluous ever since.
9. My five favourite movies will always probably be Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, The Godfather, Rocky and It’s a Wonderful Life. Moonlight is the first film in a long fucking time that has even made me consider revisiting that list. It may, in actual fact, be a completely perfect film.
10.
11. Young poet- Oh, hallowed trees, how I love to drink in the majesty of your changing colours as the season turns, and to celebrate your falling leaves each by each as they gracefully waltz with the wind
Trees- You know this is our equivalent of going bald, losing all our teeth, and shitting ourselves, right?
12. Clearly, “Weird Al” Yankovic has not seen Hamilton yet because I still haven’t heard any shitty parody song called I’m Not Blowing Away My Snot.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
LEARN MORE
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Comments