Google Responses, Greatest TV Shows, and Facing Fears
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. I typed “what the fuck is happening to this world?” into my Google search engine this weekend and it kind of shrugged and said, “I just don’t know what to tell you anymore, man.”
2. If the biggest problem you had last week was that La La Land was nominated for too many Academy Awards, you actually didn’t have any fucking problems last week at all.
3.
4.Remember the first Black Mirror episode with the Prime Minister and that pig? Imagine if Trump was in that one? If he had been, I think the public would have COMPLETELY understood and been cool with it if the British Prime Minister just refused to screw him from the word go.
5. Sometimes my life is like one of those comic book characters who are mild-mannered office workers by day and super sexy crime-fighting heroes by night, except that I mostly sleep in and criticize other people on Facebook all day and feel sorry for myself and watch Netflix at night—but other than that, it’s basically EXACTLY the same.
6. Whatchu talkin bout, POTUS?
7. I’m really late to the funeral on this one but binge-watched Six Feet Under over the holidays and have to say that it now ranks third after The Wire and Breaking Bad, in my books, as the best TV series ever. Maybe even tied for second. I’ve never seen a show that captures so well, ironically, what it is like to be alive. It is life itself distilled into a web of amazingly complex and human stories. The acting is beautiful (Frances Fucking Conroy!) and the writing and tone, easily, a decade ahead of its time. I sobbed (I cry often but rarely sob) uncontrollably for the last ten minutes of the finale. And for another twenty after it was done. THE most rewarding and poignant conclusion in the history of television, hands down. I’m sure most of you have seen it but if you haven’t, you really really should.
8. I watched the brilliant documentary series O.J.: Made in America this week and it occurred to me that O.J. got off for murder the exact same way Trump got elected president. This whole “choose your own truth” idea is not as brand new as we are all giving it credit for being.
9. Honey, I Shrunk the Gay!
10. My daughter Ella, age 12, one year ago today, wrote-
“I’m gonna get married when I am 26 and then divorced when I am 28 and remarried at 29 and then am going to start having my kids between 34 and 36.”
The kid’s a realist if nothing else.
11. The legendary Illustrated Men. Adrian Truss, Bruce Hunter, and David Huband. These guys were one decent beard away from being the Bee Gees of improv.
12. Whenever someone tells me to face my fears, I say no chance, chico. I am really only afraid of death so I am gonna actively avoid my fear for as long as humanly possible. You face my fear, ya hippie motherfucker!!!!
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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