Things God Wants You to Know, Overheard On Set, and Father’s Day
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
***Nappoholics Anonymous will be going on a two-week hiatus—a well-deserved summer holiday!—and will be back, better than ever, in July.***
1. Trump also considering opening first Trump-era “talkie” theatres and repealing prohibition! Huzzah!!!!
2. After the Philando Castile verdict, the American Justice System should just be called what it actually is: the American Just Us System. What a fucking disgrace.
3. This was waiting for me on top of this urinal at Harvey’s in Barrie. Spoiler alert: How Many Times I Am Allowed to Shake It Off Without Any Guilt wasn’t one of them.
4. A guest post by a wildly talented guy with a pretty cool insight.
5. I heard Kevin Spacey is working on a killer Arsenio Hall impersonation in case he’s asked back to host the Tony Awards so he can come off as more hip and contemporary next time.
6. I love this guy.
7. My favourite line overheard on set last week: “How should I know? I’m not a meteorologist. I’m a background performer.” – Anthony Tran
8. No punchline here. This outcome itself is a fucking joke.
9. Top 5 Pieces of Celebrity Medical Equipment
5- Carmen Electrode
4- Gurney Mac
3- X-Ray Liotta
2- Splint Eastwood
1- Catheter Hepburn
10.
11. I booked a part on Kim’s Convenience, which shoots in July, and got a really warm note from Albert Schultz congratulating me and welcoming me to the show. I think it’s pretty much a lock-in now that he and I will be starring in Soulpepper’s stage adaptation of Midnight Run: The Musical.
12. This was my Father’s Day assessment from my daughter, Ella, when she was seven.
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Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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