Punching, Stabbing, and Spitting
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. It’s Tuesday now and I submitted this week’s column on Sunday so this could be a moot point, but if Scheer won the election yesterday and you didn’t vote strategically, do me a favour and shut the fuck up for the next four years.
2. Tweet of the Week
3. My daughter recently discovered that the expressions “huge asshole” and “huge ass soul” sound exactly the same.
So there’s that to deal with now.
4. As a person who grew up in Scarborough, here, respectfully, is the only thing I can possibly see wrong with the casting of a Black woman as Hamlet… You NEVER fuck with a Black woman. If her father’s ghost says to her that her uncle killed him, her uncle should be dead in the next scene. There’s a reason that he is a dude from Denmark. Ain’t no Italian Hamlets neither.
5.
This is like Jason Kenny saying “Sure, I beat my kids, but I know another guy who STABS his.”
6. Fuck Yeah of the Week
7. Good Fucking Point of the Week
8. CBC’s choice to NOT PARTNER with Netflix on producing projects anymore because they are a direct competitor with GEM reminds me of the time reminds me of a time in grade 7, when I agreed to box three rounds against Tyrone Duncan—one of, if not the, toughest guy in my Scarborough neighbourhood. He only hit me with a significant punch ONE TIME, but I remember still feeling that one punch for the better part of the next twenty years or so.
9. Why is it always the same stubborn pricks who don’t believe scientists are able to predict what will happen in terms of climate change 11 years from now who will SWEAR that they just have to spit in an envelope and a fucking website that charges 150 bucks a pop will tell them everything there is to know about their ancestors’ DNA going back 23 generations!!!
10. 
Just helping spread the word here: submissions are open for the CAFTCAD Awards for costuming in pretty much all forms of visual media. Check the website for more details and help celebrate all of the folks who support us by giving us that much less we have to act. www.thecaftcadawards.com
11. I can ONLY understand why people are protesting Joker as a film if they haven’t seen it. I didn’t find it glorified acts of mass violence in any way. Quite the opposite, in fact. I found it to be quite a beautiful, sympathetic, PTSD character study embodied in a very restrained, quiet, and simple performance by Joaquin Phoenix. I found the film itself, as bleak as it was, to be a horribly beautiful, operatic (I stole that word), stream-of-consciousness meditation on the way our current society can heartlessly treat some of its more fringe members and the damage that can cause. The one thought that did cross my mind, though, is that—since is it a comic book inspired origin story—the less intelligent audience members might need a circle drawn around the concept that there is, in fact, a difference between mental illness and evil.
12. Guest Post of the Week
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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