Gravity, Smartasses, and Carrying Your Own Skull Around
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. I finally saw Little Women—SPOILER ALERT—there are NO little women in the film!!!!! They are all normal sized women who just happen to be younger!!!!
2. Proud Papa/Fuck Yeah of the Week:
3. The upside of having a “relaxed performance” is that it’s the one time you can get away with shitting yourself during a show without getting a note from stage management about it.
4. How’d I Miss That One of the Week:
5. Rerun TV is really great for revisiting and re-assessing “classic” shows. For example, this week I discovered that Who’s the Boss? and The Nanny are kind of the exact same show…and they both fucking suck.
6. Streak of the Week:
7. Teenage Parenting Tip #107- if you find it’s a lot of work to get your teenager out of bed for school in the morning, just flip the mattress. I think you’ll find gravity does most of the work for you.
You’re welcome.
8. Artist of the Week:
“I have always seen life as a problem and sculpting as a way to get through it… it’s like trying to create a word that nobody ever heard before and yet understands.” I found these brilliant thoughts in the mission statement of Toronto sculptor, Julia Campagna. She was brought to my attention by Aviva Armor-Ostroff. I chose three pieces here to give some sense of the powerful ideas she gives form to in bronze. They are titled (from left to right), Seen Heard Spoken, No Matter What, and Fool. I reacted to all of these pieces both intellectually and emotionally. The first two most particularly, and with many of her other pieces as well. I love how smart they are, but I also found the first two pieces quite unsettling. The third I chose for its obvious theatrical connection, but I also love the idea of the co-existence of life and death in the same piece; we are all fools carrying a skull around, even if it happens to be our own. Julia runs the Campagna Bronze Gallery Studio in Toronto’s West End where people are encouraged to interact with her and observe her process. She teaches out of the studio, as well. I encourage you to visit her site and see more of her work and read some of her thoughts at campagnabronze.com
9. When I read about the Carol Shields $150 000 prize for fiction that could only go to a female author, my first thought was: How wonderfully ironic would it be to one day see men writing under female pseudonyms in order to get ahead? Or maybe not ironic. Maybe just just.
10. Guest Post of the Week:
11. Heroes of the Week:
Donating to healthcare as the government takes money away from it. And you just know that half of the people this money will help will be assholes telling these fine people to go back to their own country.
12. Because I booked tickets for friends to see Jesus Hopped the ‘A’ Train, I got a form letter from the box office thanking me for seeing the show, which I couldn’t resist being a smart-ass about. Michael Taylor, then, showed me how strong his smart-ass game is. I’m gonna say he won this round.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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