The Selfie, Giving Discounts, and Candy
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Please God, if there absolutely has to be a game seven, let the power in all of Toronto go out at the beginning of the third period.
2. I love the use of colour, shadow, perspective, and composition in this piece by actress Dianne Latchford. An actress, paying tribute to a musician, in a painting. The coolest part is that she is all three. To see more of her work, visit Diannelatchford.com
3. The shit Doug Ford is doing to Ontario these days is so NOT funny that he should be forced to change his name to Howie Mandel.
4. Photographer Denise Grant lays claim to inventing the selfie in this now-classic 70s black and white shot. I have done the least amount of research possible, and all of it to date supports her claim.
5. Guest Post of the Week.
6. I was once asked if I offer a discount when I’m painting the house of someone I’m sleeping with. I said of course I do, but they still have to pay full price for the paint job.
7. Deal of the Week.
8. The Nappo Dictionary defines MASTURVENTION as the act of publicly pleasuring yourself in the centre of a group of people who have gathered specifically to urge you to stop pleasuring yourself publicly.
9. My whole family is like this, I swear.
10. Taking advantage of my own free advertising space to tell you there are two spots left for my Auditioning for Camera class, taking place on May 4 and May 11. Hope to see you there. Learn more.
11. I just don’t feel like I can pull off Candy.
12. Warrior of the Week.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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