Plastic Straw Bans, Skeptical Phone Apps, and Never-to-Be-Written Screenplays
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. WE, THE NO-T THE LEAFS!!!!
2. The guy who’s represented me for the last five years to make personal appearances and do fan expos just started following me on Instagram last week.
In a related story, I haven’t made any personal appearances or done any fan expos in the last five years.
3. He’s not saying anything about banning rolled up fifty dollar bills, is he?
(Asking for an enabler.)
4. I didn’t know Sean well, but I respected the fuck out of him. To become legend in an era when there was barely even an industry in Canada was no easy task. As a man, he was always supportive of me, and always had time for a real conversation. I love the words Billy MacLellan wrote here, and I’m sharing them with you to do this wonderful man’s passing the justice it deserves.
5. Reminder of the Week
6. Classic Sophia Milan
7. When I bank online and I enter the wrong password, I really resent the “Hmmm… That’s not what we were expecting,” response the TD banking phone app gives me. Listen, I have enough real problems in my life without having to deal with a passive aggressively skeptical fucking phone app. Just tell me to enter the proper passcode like your mama, the ATM does, junior.
Yup, that’s right. I went there.
8. I love this piece entitled simply CAMP by Victoria Ward. I love the palate she works from here. It brings to mind many misty foggy camp and cottage morning memories. I like how the picture almost frames itself, how small and out of place the camper seems to be in nature…how it kind of doesn’t belong here, really. And the use of red sparingly and subtly to guide the eye and tie it all together pretty pleasingly. It calms me to look at this – just as living in it would likely do for most people. You can see more of Victoria’s work at hotspurstudio.com or at her upcoming exhibition: https://orilliamuseum.org/events/1019-project-voyageur.
9. I think it really says something that when people use the phrase the real world, nine times out of ten, the connotations are negative.
10. Rough Notes From The Screenplay I Won’t Ever Write
Enter Cindy. She spies Trevor. They have history. It ended terribly. Their eyes lock. Too late for either to pretend they haven’t seen each other or leave the room. They’d both rather be having root canals than be here in this moment. Awkward silence follows.
Cindy (not wanting to, but deciding to make the effort and be the bigger person): Hello, Trevor.
Trevor (not stopping at GO and heading directly to Asshole): What are you doing here, Cindy? Shouldn’t you be bullshitting a twelve-step group somewhere right now?
11. Job Posting of the Week
12. Guest Post of the Week
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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