Celebrity Goldfish, COVID Literature, and Tony’s Lengthy Reel
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. The last demo reel I made in 2013 was 19 minutes long. The ideal demo reel is five minutes long. My agent suggested I let someone else make my new one. This is the best line from that conversation:
“That’s not a demo reel, man. It’s a film festival.”
2. Pet Owner of the Week:
3. Mentor of the Week:
4. Headshot of the Week:
5. Top 5 Classic COVID-19 Novels:
1. Love in The Time of Corona
2. A Tale of Too Shitty
3. Ford of the Lies
4. A Farewell to Armrests
5. To CERB, With Love
6. I saw this meme going around and my first thought was, “Probably, in terms of a good conversation, I’d pick the only one of the four of them who is still alive.”
7. I have never once been told by a director that they cast me because of the amazing lighting choices I made in my self-tape.
8. Artist of the Week:
I met Marian Wihak probably around 20 years ago or so. I am embarrassed to say I didn’t know she was a visual artist until relatively recently. I’ve always just known her to be a very kind supportive presence in the theatre world. The woman has all kinds of different skills and talent that she has been employing quite publicly for years. I just didn’t know, somehow.
Looking through her work, this piece, Breaking the Surface, really struck me as a powerful and inspiring one. Perhaps, obviously, because of the present political climate and sense of the power of unity, and the world being on the possible brink of breaking through for the better—or perhaps, after this prolonged period of isolation and social distancing, the sense of joy and lightness the image conveys of people actually connecting physically and that feeling of lightness rising up in all of us. as we begin to rise out of the darkness of our isolation. In any event, it’s an absolutely gorgeous, dreamlike piece aesthetically and it just makes me feel fucking good to look at it.
Here are Marian’s words:
“For most of the 1980s I worked in the realm of figurative painting, an instinctive go-to territory growing out of years of life-drawing classes. I was also influenced by a summer spent studying in Florence, where I was engaged by the relaxed body language, and the multi-generational social groupings I observed in the parks and markets around the city, and in my travels around Italy and France in general.
In the early 90’s, a personal connection to a young female I knew with a severe eating disorder brought into focus the vulnerability and also the power of the female body, and Body Positive was the resulting series (Vision; Breaking the Surface; Baptism; Real Woman II, Real Woman I).
My starting point in creating this series was the girlhood hobby of making a cut-out paper chain of girls holding hands, but instead of each “girl” being the same shape and size in a generic “girl” silhouette, I drew each female as a separate body shape: some round and mature, some slim and athletic, some medium sized, and all essentially naked so that their body shapes were fully and proudly on display. Their hands were joined as in the traditional paper chain cut-outs, but I elevated their arms and hands so that they appeared collectively giddy, triumphant, and strong.
I cut my chain out of linoleum and then used the negative cut-out as a stencil and the positive cut-out as a stamp, over and over again in numerous paintings. My process varied, but I would typically do a little overpainting or paint “lifting” so that the chain of women took on visual significance against the background.”
You can see more of Marian’s work at http://marianwihak.com
9. Guest Post of the Week:
10. Check Mate of the Week:
11. Wisdom of the Week:
12. This is the fourth year in a row that my gardener has mixed up my perineum with my perennials. I’m either gonna have to fire this fucking guy soon or marry him.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
LEARN MORE
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Comments