Bad Blood Reviews, Porter Flights, and North Bay Christmases
Nappoholics Anonymous is a weekly column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. City TV’s Hit Show Bad Blood Finally Gets a Bad Review
2. You know you live in a country of privilege when the world is quite literally falling apart and every single national news outlet is covering the death of a fucking groundhog.
3. Aw, man! Why doesn’t anything good ever get catapulted onto my fuckin head??!!!
4. I was gonna write a joke about the new Star Trek here but then I would have had to watch the new Star Trek. So… you know… I didn’t.
5. I don’t give a shit what anyone says, I’m glad Rich Caplan quit the music business and became a talent agent. Daryl Hall did just fine, in the end, without him.
6. The woman on the Porter flight asked me why it was they served almonds on the plane as a snack when so many people seem to have nut allergies these days. I responded, “I think maybe because, if you are flying on Porter, it’s kind of implied that living is no longer your top priority.”
7.
8. My sister’s review of Bad Blood episode one- “You ‘hit’ three guys and the other guy goes to jail. Nice.”
My dad’s review- “I thought you were supposed to be tough. All you did was shoot people. That’s not tough. Anybody can shoot somebody. You should have ripped those guys apart.”
And people wonder why I am the way I am.
9. SID THE KID ROCK
10. When the film Angel Falls wraps this month, there will have officially been more Christmas movies filmed in North Bay than they have had actual Christmases.
11. It is nothing short of a miracle that what seemed to be an industry lacking in diversity only a year ago has completely transformed to the point that not even a single plain-old white male is emerging anymore.
12. I hate technology. Every time I type “sideways dunce cap with a set of testicles,” my computer changes it into a fucking heart.
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Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
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Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
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