Paintings, Pornos, and Broken Countries
Nappoholics Anonymous is a column featuring twelve random thoughts by actor Tony Nappo. Some are funny, some are poignant, some bother him, and some make him weep from sadness while others make him weep for joy. Here are his thoughts: unfiltered, uncensored, and only occasionally unsafe for work.
1. Classic Me
2. Fuck Yeah of the Week
3. Top Five Porno Game Show Titles of the Week
5. Feel or No Feel
4. Wheel of Foreskin
3. Pap Smear Factor
2. Snatch Game
1. Whose Vagine is it Anyway?
4. Remembrance of the Week
5. Mic Drop of the Week
6. I love all of my friends, and this is not meant to be shitting on everyone’s outrage and frustration, which I share entirely.
But every single fucking time there is a mass shooting, we all give the speeches, and we all share the memes (to each other, who are all mostly already in agreement), but nothing changes.
And we all know the fucking answer. It’s been proven in Australia. The answer is gun control.
And if you disagree with me, you’re just fucking dumb, or you don’t actually give a shit about anything until it happens to you directly. Short of someone walking into the Capitol Building (you know that one, where a bunch of right wing “Patriots” helped themselves to an unofficial tour on January 6), and opening fire on Congress with an automatic or semi-automatic weapon, I can’t see what it’s going to take to change anything over there. And even THAT probably wouldn’t do it. I mean, If 288 school shootings and the normalizing of murdered children isn’t enough, I’m pretty sure our memes and posts (like this one here) aren’t actually gonna accomplish shit.
And yeah, sure — awareness, discussion, and so on. But is there anything left to really discuss? There have been more than 20 mass shootings in the US since this one, which only happened a week ago.
That country is fucking broken.
7. Name Change of the Week
8. Artist of the Week
When I first saw Carmen Marie Alonso’s work, I was struck by the sense of story in her work. In this piece, “After School,” I saw an image representing power — the potential power of these two men in black, possibly priests of some sort, possibly “bad guys” out to do some physical harm, but then I noticed that the men were waiting and she was approaching them, and I thought that maybe it was a young woman simply meeting these men, but being aware of her power as a woman to be able to control men who may want to win her and not just take her.
But I wasn’t really accurate in my guess.
I supposed the inclusion of the school house was to signal to me that whoever I perceived as having the power told me more about myself than was the artist’s intention, but again I was mostly wrong.
Here are Carmen’s words talking about the painting and her work.
You can find more of Carmen’s work here, or follow her on Instagram @carmenmarie.alonso.
9. I had a client I haven’t painted for in ages send me a text this week. She asked if I was still painting, and said that her front entrance had been neglected for a long time and was in need of some loving care. I answered back saying that I would be more than happy to give her front entrance all the love and care it required, but the painting would have to wait a while.
10. Vancouver’s Leo Awards for film acting have so many nominations for Christmas movies that they are rumoured to be considering changing the award statue to the more simple Golden Candy Cane next year.
11. Ontarians with the non-PC vote splitting remind me of Americans with the mass shootings or Leaf fans with the being Leaf fans. How can we even pretend to be surprised when the same thing happens every fucking time?
12. Poem of the Week
What excites me most about this poem is that the author is a woman I have known since she was just a toddler. Sawyer Ferreira is the daughter of actor Louis Ferreira. I have read a couple of her pieces now and they are so fucking smart and naked and insightful. She sees the details and can do the math. I hope you enjoy this offering and I predict you’ll be hearing and reading her name a fair bit in the future.
Tony Nappo
Tony is Italian, he’s from Scarborough, he’s an actor, he’s a father, he’s a really good house painter, and he doesn’t believe that most things matter, ultimately, at all.
LEARN MORE
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Squid Game, Pre-Madonnas, and CBC Porn
I got my hands on the first few episodes of the Sex and the City reboot, and was quite enjoying it before I realized I had opened the wrong file and was actually watching Golden Girls reruns.
Gottfried, Strays, and Easter Eggs
Dogs rarely have a hidden agenda when they meet people or other dogs: they're either wagging that shit or they aren’t.
Slapping People, ACTRA Meetings, and Dog Shit
At one point, I was sleeping with so many actresses that they used to just hold ACTRA meetings in my bedroom.
Birthdays, Cranes, and Judd Apatow
If the Freedom Convoy has answered one question for every Canadian, I think it's this: whatever happened to that dumb kid in my class?
Scorsese, Dentists, and Dying Alone
If waving a Fuck Trudeau flag is a legit way to get a meeting with him, I’m gonna start waving my Fuck Scorsese flag wherever I go and keep my fingers crossed.
Truckers, Porndle, and Bad Boys
In these newly woke times in the entertainment industry, it’s slightly amazing to me that nobody has protested the fact that Denzel Washington isn’t actually Scottish yet.
Squid Game, Pre-Madonnas, and CBC Porn
I got my hands on the first few episodes of the Sex and the City reboot, and was quite enjoying it before I realized I had opened the wrong file and was actually watching Golden Girls reruns.
Comments